Being sick can be just downright icky!! There are moments, or longer, when I forget how sick I am. The reminder comes like a punch in the stomach. Oooofta! Wait! What?! Oh yeah, I am sick. Really sick. It is like having the flu all the time. You just want to get better.
In my last post I shared about my treatment changes and how it was expected for me to herx. Yes. The herx has come. It took a hold of me terribly for over a week and had me on bed rest (or bed pain). Then let up but has left me with muscle cramps, stomach upset, occasional nausea, fatigue, insomnia (lying in bed for hours feeling like I am only a second away from sleep. It is quite a not very funny joke that is being played on me!), headaches, migraines, joint pain and others I can't think of at the moment.
It is frustrating to have so much pain with any movement. It hurts in each part of my body within the muscles and joints. My mind wants to do so much from chores to hanging out with friends and family to reaching bigger goals. I get energized/excited to be with people then feel something like the flu, slam into my body, screaming "GO LAY DOWN NOW!". I grudgingly say, "geez okay, okay. You didn't have to throw such a fuss!". In return I hear, "That is the only way you will listen!".
I succumb, to this point in life where I find myself, experiencing peace and joy in the midst. Each person has their own burdens and blessings. Above are some of the burdens, below are some blessings:
-long weekend visits from both Keri and Heather
-getting lots of time to sit and talk with my kids
-our house with big windows & being next to a field, park and my kids schools
-going for walks with my dog (even if they are only 5 minutes)
-getting to live where it snows
-getting to live where there is sunshine
-getting warm summers
-I get to have lots and lots of Sea Salt
-I can have fruit
-understanding, helpful husband and kids
-having so many similar interests as my kids and hubby
-for a loving family
-for help to pay for my treatments so one day I will be well
-for the hope for a NEW & IMPROVED me!
With this joy and hope I am motivated to continue on with my busy day of treatments, today and each day.
In my last post I shared about my treatment changes and how it was expected for me to herx. Yes. The herx has come. It took a hold of me terribly for over a week and had me on bed rest (or bed pain). Then let up but has left me with muscle cramps, stomach upset, occasional nausea, fatigue, insomnia (lying in bed for hours feeling like I am only a second away from sleep. It is quite a not very funny joke that is being played on me!), headaches, migraines, joint pain and others I can't think of at the moment.
It is frustrating to have so much pain with any movement. It hurts in each part of my body within the muscles and joints. My mind wants to do so much from chores to hanging out with friends and family to reaching bigger goals. I get energized/excited to be with people then feel something like the flu, slam into my body, screaming "GO LAY DOWN NOW!". I grudgingly say, "geez okay, okay. You didn't have to throw such a fuss!". In return I hear, "That is the only way you will listen!".
I succumb, to this point in life where I find myself, experiencing peace and joy in the midst. Each person has their own burdens and blessings. Above are some of the burdens, below are some blessings:
-long weekend visits from both Keri and Heather
-getting lots of time to sit and talk with my kids
-our house with big windows & being next to a field, park and my kids schools
-going for walks with my dog (even if they are only 5 minutes)
-getting to live where it snows
-getting to live where there is sunshine
-getting warm summers
-I get to have lots and lots of Sea Salt
-I can have fruit
-understanding, helpful husband and kids
-having so many similar interests as my kids and hubby
-for a loving family
-for help to pay for my treatments so one day I will be well
-for the hope for a NEW & IMPROVED me!
With this joy and hope I am motivated to continue on with my busy day of treatments, today and each day.
You're a blessing to me as well!!! You and your whole family, are without a doubt, going to get through this. I totallly know how it feels to just want to "be over it already...". You surprise me more than anyone with your WILL to fight. Even when you are herxing, you still write your blog, even though I am sure your neck, etc is killing you. Thank you for sharing your heart, mind and body with us! I LOVE YOU! Small but Mighty CC!
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